Introduction

New Books

Schedule for this Year

April in the Garden

Growing Persimmons

The Perfect Garden Seat

Fruit Jellies

Gingerbread

Chocolate Cabbage Leaves

I'm sitting here at my desk looking out the window at a possibly insane lyrebird jump from potted plant to hanging basket, then up the curves in the kiwi fruit stem up onto the pergola, then down again.

I don't know if the silly thing thinks it's going to nest above the front door. Or maybe it's just exploring or feeling autumn-ish.

Autumn comes suddenly here in the valley. One moment the wind is like the breath of hell and the sun is sucking all the moisture from the world. The next, the sun sits lower in the sky, the light is gentle, the creek is trickling from pool to pool where there were only dry rocks before. And the lyrebirds are prancing through the garden and the wombats are leaving droppings every couple of metres.

That HAS to be something to do with autumn. It's not just Mothball wombat, either, who's leaving more droppings than you'd think could squeeze out of a wombat bum in a decade, much less one night. Even high up on the mountain there are fresh droppings on every rock and log. Marking out their territory for winter? Mating signs? Not being a wombat, and not knowing how to speak 'droppings' either, I've no idea.

Mothball has been renovating the hole behind the bathroom too. I'm not quite sure why. She's been living in the hole under our bedroom and, as far as I know, she spends some of the time in there still.

But every morning there's a bigger pile of dust and stones under the bathroom window. And every night I suppose the long tunnel under the bank gets bigger and bigger.

I'm trying not to think it's because I agreed to take a new wombat who needs to learn how to go back to the wild. I said we'd take her two weeks ago, as soon as I get back from the Sydney Writer's Festival, and that she could live in the empty hole behind the bathroom. And that very night Mothball moved back into it and started digging and she hasn't stopped yet.

Wombats aren't really telepathic. Are they?

Ps Grunter wombat, Mothball's son, is eating apples. Lots of apples. (The wind is knocking them from the French crab and Sturmer pippin trees down on the creek flat.) His droppings look disgusting, all chunks of undigested apple and tamarillo. Not nice and brown like a proper wombat's at all. His mum should have taught him better eating habits!

New Books

'Macbeth and Son' is out this month – the story of two boys, a thousand years apart, who must decide if truth really matters. One is a modern kid, Luke, who has just inadvertently cheated in an exam for a prestigious school. The other is Lulach, stepson of Macbeth. But this is the historical Macbeth, the hero who was elected king of Scotland, not the villain in Shakespeare's play.

Why did Shakespeare lie? And four hundred years later, does it matter?

The final Phredde is out too, 'Phredde and the Haunted Underpants', and the seventh in the Wacky Family series, 'My Gran the Gorilla'. (Have just spent a lovely evening listening to my step-grandson reading 'My Dog the Dinosaur' – as a dinosaur fanatic it's his favourite book. I think he's still hoping that just maybe he'll get a dog who turns into a dinosaur too.)

As for the next ones – still have the revisions to do on 'The Goat that Sailed the World', the true story of the very stroppy goat who sailed with Captain Cook. And the first final pages are coming in from Bruce Whately for 'Josephine Wants to Dance'. They are totally, completely stunning and I feel like a kid on Christmas Eve just waiting for the next ones.

Schedule for this year:

I'm cutting down the number of talks I give these days, for health reasons – I can no longer manage to give talks without a microphone and it's amazing how many school and library microphones cut out after twenty minutes, with a dead battery or loose connection! (And it's really hard to just shrug and walk away with a mob of kids waiting, so the temptation is to keep talking no matter what the consequences.) And lately, the sheer process of a day's travelling each way (even driving the two hours there and two hours back to Canberra) is just too much to do it too often.

But this is what the year looks like:

Saturday, 20 May:

Early Childhood Services conference, Brisbane

May 22-28:

Sydney Writer's Festival – not sure what events yet, but there'll be sessions about 'Hitler's Daughter' on the Monday and Tuesday, and a session with Bryan on How to Send a Wombat to the Stars at the Sydney Observatory at 4 pm Saturday, with pizza and a gaze through the telescopes afterwards.

June 22-25:

Fremantle W.A. a series of talks for kids and adults on everything from books to chooks to wombats and gardens at the Fremantle Arts centre. Contact the Arts Centre for more details.

August:

Book Week talks in Sydney and Melbourne (just a few) Contact Lateral Learning for details (bookings@laterallearning.com.au).

Saturday 4 November:

Talk at the Open Garden Seminar at Major's Creek, NSW. Details from the Open Garden Scheme.

Sunday 12 November:

Launch of 'Josephine Wants to Dance' and performance at the Bungendore School Fair, plus a talk at the Wildcare Stall there.

'Hitler's Daughter' Tour

The wonderful people at Monkey Baa are performing 'Hitler's Daughter', the play, this year. Have a feeling it is going to be just stunning. So far the schedule looks like this-

Jackie French's 'Hitler's Daughter' 2006 National Tour

by Monkey Baa Theatre for Young People Ltd

The April Garden

What to do in April

Everything: April is about the perfect month to garden – no wind like the breath of hell, no frozen fingers and the weeds have stopped growing so fast you wonder if they're about to strangle you in bed. Start new beds, plant shrubs, build steps or a lilypond... you won't find a better time for garden fantasies till spring.

Buy: Lots of spring bulbs. Look for heat-hardy Paperwhite or Erlicheer jonquils and King Alfred daffodils and freesias, mini gladdies, ixias and ranunculi that will grow anywhere. French tulips ­– no relation except I love the things – are the best tulip for warmer climates. Remember – DON'T plant bulbs in small pots or they'll be one-day wonders, flowering one day, dead the next. Plant bulbs in the coolest soil around, not near hot walls or terraces.

Plant: Cuttings of lavender, wormwood, daisies and native shrubs.

Divide: Clumps of perennials like agapanthus, red-hot pokers, Easter daises, salvias, chives – any clump which just gets bigger and bigger. Dividing clumps now will give you more plants, plus more flowers – big clumps often stop blooming in the middle. Use a spade and commonsense i.e. slice, pull apart and plant.

Feed: Winter-flowering shrubs or annuals but don't feed any plant that might be cut by frost if it rushes into fresh growth as tender new growth is more easily burnt!

... and take a deep happy breath of flowers and fresh grass, because most gardens won't look as good again till next November.

It's time to grow:

Flowers: white and purple alyssum, calendulas, poppies, pansies, primulas, violas and wallflowers.

Frost-free areas only: coleus, gerberas, nasturtiums, petunias and zinnias.

Veg: broad bean seed, broccoli, cauliflower and cabbage seedlings, winter lettuce seedlings, radish and spinach.

Frost-free areas only: any veg you can get your hands on!

P.S. Many charts will tell you that you can plant carrots, silver beet and beetroot in cold weather. It's true these aren't killed by frost but they don't grow much in cold weather – and then go to seed as soon as spring warms up! Grow veg that will really DO something instead.

Tip: Plant a row of garlic chives along your flowerbed. You'll get bright mauve pompoms in summer, plus garlicky green leaves to chop into salads, casseroles etc all winter. Once the clumps thicken up they'll help keep grass out of the garden too.

A couple of questions

Question: My lemon tree has stink bugs on it. I don't want to use poisons, but I don't want to touch the horrible things either!

Answer: I know it sounds odd – but vacuum them off! Use the suction hose, then remove the vacuum cleaner bag, tie up the top and throw it away! The stink bugs are not only stinky be careful not to get their juices on your skin or in your eyes as many people have a strong allergic reaction to them – and the smell and horrid nicotine-like stains are difficult to remove. You can also vacuum up bugs in high places or Christmas beetles or spittle bugs – shake the tree well or bash it with a rake (wear a hat – spittle bugs are not fun in your hair) then vacuum up the residue!

Question: My lawn has yellow rings in it and the grass is really dark green around them. What can I do?

Answer: You've got fairy rings, caused by a fungal problem in the soil. (Sometimes there'll be a ring of mushrooms or toadstools too, though I'm afraid I can't promise you fairies.) As to what do about it – you could try dancing around your fairy ring next full moon (if you get hauled off to Fairyland at dawn don't blame me). Otherwise sprinkle on lime, as fungi grow best in acid soil or use a fungicide spray according to directions. Be warned though – even with fungicide the problem will reoccur.

Autumn Fruit

I think this is one of my favourite fruiting times, with things still ripening fast, but not SO fast you have to haul them off the tree before the fruit fly zap them. Kiwi fruit, quinces, chestnuts, pomegranates, and beautiful, elegant persimmons -

How to Grow Persimmons

Persimmons are possibly the most beautiful fruit tree in the world – small, perfectly shaped, with deep orange fruit in late autumn and sunset-coloured autumn leaves in cooler climates.

Where to grow? In a sunny spot in the front yard, where you can admire them, anywhere from the sunny tropics to protected spots in very cold climates. Try to avoid the windier sites in your garden as the persimmon tree is a bit brittle and can suffer wind damage which detracts from its rather elegant overall appearance.

How to grow? Persimmons are slow growers for the first two or three years, then make up for lost time. Keep the soil moist, prune out spindly and dead wood each year but otherwise don't bother about pruning; feed in late winter so they have plenty of tucker for spring growth.

When to pick: Some persimmons need to be eaten totally soft – if they are not sweet and without a hint of acid they are 'green' even if they are bright yellow. Others can be eaten while firm. Pick half the fruit when they seem unlikely to get any deeper in colour, and let them soften on the windowsill. Leave the others for the birds and to dangle on the tree after leaf fall like so many beautiful, glowing, Chinese lanterns.

In Search of the Perfect Garden Seat

Some people – poor fanatic souls – see a garden as a tasteful collection of grass and shrubs to impress anyone driving by who isn't listening to the cricket or refereeing the backseat brawl being conducted by their offspring. Others (i.e. me and the saner elements of the universe) believe a garden really only comes into its own when you're sitting in it.

The world disappears when you sit in a good garden. No matter what traffic is rumbling a few metres away, your universe suddenly shrinks to dappled shadows and green leaves and the odd bird above you. Forget about a luxury holiday costing $zillion. Just spend a few minutes each day – and the occasional hour each weekend – actually sitting in your garden.

PS Do not face the clothes line, the unwashed windows or anything else that may remind you of all you haven't done, and tell the kids this is NOT the time to help them with their algebra, though actually algebra tackled in a garden is never the hassle it is indoors.

PPS Do not try to smell the roses unless you have a really perfumed one wafting about your head. The best place to smell the roses is in a bunch on the table. The best garden smell isn't a single flower – it's that lovely combination of damp soil and fresh grass and hot leaves and hopefully not Jason's stinky joggers that he left under the seat last sport's day.

The Perfect Country Seat

The perfect seat needs to be a) comfortable; b) won't dissolve in the rain; and c), d) and e) COMFORTABLE!!!

Spend time SITTING on any chair before you buy it – and I don't mean thirty embarrassed seconds either. Seats that may seem comfortable for a short period may just not support you in the right places over an hour or two of gentle conversation. (A dear friend has a most elegant set of wrought iron chairs that slowly tip you forward. If you haven't met them before you just assume it's the Tequila sunrises...)

Which seat?

Wood or stone benches

Advantages: Informal, low maintenance, look good, too heavy or bulky for casual thieves.

Disadvantages: Don't support your back; useless for long-term relaxing; stone is very hard on your situpon after a few minutes! Too heavy to shift easily in or out of sun – and it's always either too hot or too cold.

Swing Seats

Advantages: Comfortable, relaxing, keep kids amused for at least 3.7 minutes.

Disadvantages: Take up much more room than other seats; not easily moved. And after 3.7 minutes kids will REALLY start playing with them, which can, in a few rare cases, be dangerous.

Painted metal* chairs and tables

Advantages: Elegant, long lasting; can give your garden a touch of luxury so it feels like a French cafe or Italian arbour or Victorian garden where you wait for the footman to serve afternoon tea.

Disadvantages: Usually expensive; can be uncomfortable and cold on the bum (but cushions solve this); may require repainting, especially in coastal areas. Make sure you check second-hand metal chairs for rust; modern ones however shouldn't rust as most are now made from aluminium.

* see 'which metal' below

Combination wood and metal

Advantages: You get the elegance of metal with the comfort of a wooden seat.

Disadvantages: May need repainting; make sure the wood is long-lasting. See 'Which wood' below.

Plastic Seats:

Advantages: Cheap, light to carry, dry quickly after rain.

Disadvantages: May become dingy or even brittle after a few years in the sun.

Hardwood seats

Advantages: Strong; weathers beautifully if unpainted*.

Disadvantages: Do make sure furniture from tropical hardwoods like teak comes from sustainably managed sources* – you don't want a bit of pillaged rainforest in your backyard! May be heavy and need repainting or revarnishing if already painted.

* see 'Which timber' and 'To paint or not?' below

Hammocks

Advantages: Useful to give males when you can't think what else to give them for their birthday.

Disadvantages: Extraordinarily uncomfortable and most gardens don't have anywhere convenient to hang them.

Director's Chairs

Advantages: Cheap, comfortable, easy to store indoors and take out when you need them making them thief-proof.

Disadvantages: Can't be left out in the rain and weather.

Cane and Bamboo Furniture

Advantages: Looks great, usually wonderfully comfortable, can be left outside for short periods; can be painted or stained to match or complement garden colours; perfect for verandahs and other covered areas where they may get a bit damp but won't be totally exposed to the weather.

Disadvantages: Will decay if left in the sun and rain indefinitely, though they're tough enough to survive for a while; too bulky for easy storage and light enough to be carried easily by thieves.

Rustic Furniture

This is made from wood that has been sawn roughly with a chain saw or from small branches or split logs.

Advantages: Informal, often very beautiful, each piece will be original.

Disadvantages: Make sure it doesn't rock when you sit on it; old wood may rot faster but this depends on the type of wood – other rustic furniture can last a hundred years. May be very heavy. Can resemble the props for the Flintstones – i.e. clumsy, awkward and stone-age design.

*Which timber?

Wooden seats are mostly made of a hardwood like Western Australian jarrah or South-east Asian teak. Both of these woods happily cope with decades of rain and sunlight and they require very little maintenance. Teak will weather to a lovely silver grey, but its reddish brown colour can be preserved with occasional coats of teak oil.

Watch out for cheap teak furniture. It will look knotty, and as the timber may not have been seasoned well the seat may become wobbly in a few years as it shrinks unevenly.

When you buy wooden furniture (teak or otherwise) make sure that each joint seems to fit into the others perfectly and that the brass or stainless steel screws sit snugly and the whole feel is sturdy and solid. Any signs of poor workmanship now may mean even greater problems in a few years time.

Beware of pine garden seats. Even if they are treated or sealed to preserve them they may not last for more than a couple of years of rain and sunlight.

*Which metal?

Even though decorators talk about the 'wrought iron' look, today's metal furniture is mostly made from powder-coated aluminium or painted hot-dip galvanised or zinc coated steel. These won't corrode and need little or no maintenance.

To paint or stain or seal?

Outdoor furniture can be painted, stained or sealed. Paint changes the colour dramatically; a sealer may intensify the colour of the wood or cane and will help protect it from rain and sun; a stain will change the colour of the wood but you'll still see the grain.

To paint or not to paint?

Advantages: Looks bright and fresh with each repainting; colours can be chosen to match flowers or brighten up the garden.

Disadvantages: You need to repaint furniture every few years – and scrape off the old paint before you do! (Painting is fun; scraping paint off is a boring way to spend a Saturday.)

The 'let it weather' look

Advantages: Furniture slowly mellows with the garden. I love the subtle shades of weathered wood; others just think they look shabby or a mess!

Disadvantages: Fussy friends may criticise your housekeeping standards. Lichen, moss, spider colonies and decaying leaves can accumulate without your noticing.

How to clean lichen and other stains from unpainted wood

(Warning! Do not do this with kids around, or anyone who is asthmatic!!!!)

You need:

bleach

rubber gloves

bucket

goggles if you are really being careful

scrubbing brush

LOTS of newspaper

Put the grotty furniture on at least ten thicknesses of newspaper – bleach can kill grass or 'bleach' concrete or pavers if it spills. If the wood is REALLY grotty use full strength bleach; otherwise half or quarter strength. Dip in brush; then scrub well. Try not to splash much around. Leave the bleach on the wood till it dries, then wash off with the hose. Repeat if you want the wood and stains to fade more.

Note: This procedure will fade the seat slightly; any splashes may fade your clothes, the wooden deck and the cat.

PS Do NOT try this on the cat even if you've decided you'd like a white one.

Cleaning Cane

An old-fashioned way to clean unpainted cane or bamboo furniture is to take 1 cup of salt, 2 tablespoons of washing soda and 2 cups of water. Mix well and scrub into the cane with an old toothbrush. When dry polish the cane with a cloth dipped in linseed or olive oil.

Note: This may fade or darken the seat slightly.

The perfect sitting place

Seats under trees look inviting even if you never sit on them. Big umbrellas also give shade, and while it is difficult to shove a tree around when the sun moves (or heft the seats and table back into the shade as it moves) you can adjust an umbrella.

But basically the perfect spot for your seat is the one that you love - the best view, privacy, garden scents.

Keeping the grass alive

Grass under many seats dies as it doesn't get enough light. Either place your seat on paving or gravel or move them every few months so the grass can refresh itself with sunlight.

Useful tip

Most seats need a level area, but if you have a sloping garden choose wooden furniture and cut the legs to fit the slope. Even better, have a seat made to suit the site with legs set into the ground. Just remember that it will always be a one spot seat!

Fruit Jellies: A little of what you fancy can be good, sticky fun

There are times when all of us feel the need to nibble on something sweet. The ancient Greeks ate lollies made from roasted sesame and poppy seeds, with crushed nuts and boiled honey – and lovely sticky sweet things they are too.

Medieval lollies included a rather yummy one of pine nuts, ginger, breadcrumbs and clear honey, all boiled till it hardened, and Queen Elizabeth the First loved sweets made of almonds, egg white, lavender and cherry stones.

When Nostradamus wasn't prophesising, he nibbled on candied lemon peel or thistle root or cherries or alkanet roots, which he claimed 'makes (a person) cheerful and happy, drives away all melancholy, rejuvenates people, slows down the aging process, imparts a healthy colour to the face, keeps a person in good health and stops him from getting angry.'

Actually I felt a bit in need of rejuvenation myself the other day, and bought a packet of lollies on impulse. I'd scoffed a couple of them when I accidentally looked at the 'ingredients':

It sort of took away my appetite – and unfortunately there wasn't a vendor of ancient Greek nutty candies or Queen Elizabeth's almond pastilles to be seen.

A few lollies occasionally though are very nice things, especially if you're 'feeling melancholy'. So I make fruit jellies. They taste like jelly beans and jelly snakes and jelly babies SHOULD taste – the way you keep thinking they'll taste from their lovely bright colours but never do.

These lollies actually do taste of fruit, because that's what's in them. No preservatives, no artificial colours, no stabilisers – you know exactly what's in these little darlings when you feed them to your kids or your guests after dinner, or scoff a few when you need a touch of rejuvenation and slowing down the aging process (or to stave off anger), just like Nostrodamus said.

These lollies are also a good simple recipe for kids to make, as long as you keep an eye on them to make sure they don't tip bubbling fruit juice all over themselves or burn the house down or tread on the cat or accidentally add a cup of salt or any of the other zillion things that can go wrong when you cook with kids. But on the other hand kids do need to learn about stoves and cooking and, even better, how to make something really good to share with their friends.

Blueberry and Lime Fruit Jellies

You need:

1 cup apple juice

1 packet frozen blueberries

half a cup of lime juice

1 cup of sugar (or less – your choice)

2 tsp tartaric acid

half a cup gelatine, pectin or seaweed-based setting agent – gelatine is cheaper but the others taste better

Simmer everything except the gelatine, pectin or seaweed-based setting agent for half an hour. Strain.

Now add a little of the juice to the gelatine or other setting mix and then mix it into the rest of the juice. Pour it onto a tray covered in baking paper and wait for it to set.

Now cut into little squares, or diamonds, or long jelly snakes – you can give them a pair of eyes with a bit of peanut if you like and use a knife to cut a pattern into the 'snakeskin'. Store between baking paper in a cool dry place for a day or two, but not too long – remember they don't have any preservatives in them. Throw them out if they start growing mould or look odd.

Otherwise, give them to your kids for a treat or, better still, get them into the kitchen making their own, because once they get used to a genuine fruit flavour in their lollies, they won't want to go back to artificial flavours.

Gingerbread

three quarters of a cup of milk

90 gm butter

1 egg

half a cup brown sugar

1 dessertspoon treacle

90 gm plain flour and 1 teaspoon baking powder

1 dessertspoon ground ginger

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

half a teaspoon ground cloves

half a teaspoon ground cardamon

chopped almonds or glace ginger - optional

Melt the butter, treacle and milk in a saucepan, stir in the sugar and egg and whisk well. Stir in the flour, spices and baking powder. Pour mixture into a greased and floured tin, scatter on the ginger and almonds if desired.

Bake at 150º C for about 45 minutes, or until a skewer comes out clean when you poke it in the middle

Gingerbread is even better a day or two after baking.

Chocolate Cabbage Leaves

Why, I hear you ask, why on earth bother to make a chocolate cabbage leaf?

The answer if because they look silly – remarkably like a cabbage leaf, but made of chocolate and you can then fill your chocolate cabbage leaf with icecream or icecream with raspberry sauce for a most impressive looking dessert or anything else for that matter you want to serve with some dash and fancy.

They're also fun for kids to make – kids are more unabashed about enjoying fantasy and silliness than most adult – at least till they become teenagers. Forget about Easter eggs or boxes of cut-price chocolates – give chocolate cabbage leaves instead.

(Delicate souls of course can make chocolate rose leaves instead. The principle is the same – you just get less chocolate.)

Pick a good cabbage or rose leaf. Melt good quality cooking chocolate – the bitter dark stuff. Don't add water or it will turn grainy, but a few drops of Cointreau or peppermint oil will add savour.

Take a pastry brush (or your fingers if you want to lick them and don't have pastry brush.)

Turn cabbage leaf upside down and rose leaf glossy side down. Brush chocolate thickly over the outside of the cabbage leaf or underside of the rose leaf. Leave to dry. Lick fingers.

When dry peel off leaf gently and slowly (any breakages should be eaten). You now have a neat chocolate rose leaf (all you need are another 230) or a wide deep chocolate cabbage leaf, looking still distinctly rose leaf like or cabbagy – but MUCH better tasting than the originals.

If you are really in a chocolate mood, fill the chocolate cabbage leaf with chocolate rose leaves.