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How to get your first novel published
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July 2005 . . .
The wind is howling, the rain splattering and I've just missed being hit by a flying choko, which would have been a terrible epitaph, felled by a flying choko. It's wonderful weather. Well, it is after you've had four boring years of drought and blue skies. The creek is all mud and froth and we can hear the rocks grinding as the water races around them. Blast it, this is what winter should be like! Grey skies and wet ground and sleet and gales. Though to be honest I think I'm the only one around here appreciating it. Haven't seen Mothball wombat for two days, she decided to sleep her way through the storm down her hole. And I watched a baby wallaby climb out of it's mum's pouch a few minutes ago, shiver, then climb back in. Hope it's snug and fluffy in there. It's just poked its nose out and is munching grass from the pouch instead. At least the lyrebirds are happy. The soil is wet enough now for them to scratch up the entire garden, not just bits where we've watered or mulched. They spend half their time ripping up the dahlias and the other half threatening each other, folding their tails down and dancing and making clicking noises, or doing long legged 'rip your throat out' type dances - and taking no notice whatsoever of anyone else's threat dance. The males, that is. The female lyrebirds just get on with eating and nest building.
New Books Uncle Wal the Werewolf is out now. All families are wacky, but some are wackier than others. Buster's family is the happiest werewolf clan around, until -. With more hilarious illustrations by Stephen Michael King. (His werewolves are total magic!) They Came on Viking Ships is the latest historical novel, and The Secret World of Wombats will be out soon, with more stunning pics by Bruce Whatley. This is a non fiction book on wombats - all the dirt on Mothball and the others, why wombats bite each other's bums and why you should sing to wombats if you want to get close to them.
Awards The Japanese version of HITLER'S DAUGHTER received the semi-grand prix of the SANKEI CHILDREN'S BOOK AWARD last month, and Pete the Sheep and Hitler's Daughter have been short listed for the Koala awards. This is the sixth time Hitler's Daughter has been short listed for Koala- thank you enormously to everyone who keeps voting for it! To the Moon and Back (the story of Australia and the journey to the moon, with Bryan Sullivan, or He Who Argues with the Wombat) is still short listed for a CBC award. We won't find out till August if it's won or is an honour book.
July garden This is the best time of the year for fruit. It just sits there. You don't have to race and pick it or preserve it or turn it into jam. Fruit fly don't lay grubs in it, and the birds are busy eating the calamondins and lillipillies, which I planted so they tuck into those and leave the rest of the sweeter fruit for us. At the moment it's navel oranges, blood oranges, mandarins, cumquats, calamondins, kiwi fruit, lemons, limes, avocadoes, tamarilloes, macadamias, chilacayotes, chokos, two sorts of lillipillies, Cape gooseberries, Lady Williams apples (have just had three thinly sliced with a lemon and garlic salad dressing with lots of parsley) Japanese Raisin tree fruit (not many this year), and probably a few others I've forgotten about. It's not an abundant fruit year- the last years have been too dry and the trees haven't been watered. But given the harsh seasons the generosity of the garden- and the bush around us- is extraordinary. Oh, and eggs. The eggs are really a garden fruit too as the chooks eat the old avocadoes etc plus our scraps and as I've been on a cupboard tidy mission (some of those apricots on the top larder shelf are ones I dried 25 years ago!) the chooks have been very VERY well fed, with lots of weevil protein. So good that they've been giving us an egg a day each right through winter.
What to Plant Cold/ temperate areas: don't plant veg and flowers unless you're absolutely longing to get your fingers in the dirt! Seed may rot in cold ground, veg and flowers won't grow much before they bloom and die. Stick to onion seedlings, rhubarb, strawberry, asparagus and artichoke crowns, bare rooted trees, shrubs and roses. Frost free areas: plant just about anything and keep watering!
Schedule for this Year Well not much, to be honest! The doctor has banned me from flying for three months since the heart attack, which takes me to the end of August, and I'll be taking it easy for another three months after that. So just about everything has been cancelled- and I really apologise to everyone affected. I'll be giving a couple of talks in Canberra in August, and maybe the odd other talk within driving distance after that, but I'm not making any firm arrangements yet. I'm feeling enormously better, but have a feeling I wouldn't if I started dashing around again.
A few recipes Texas Sheet cake To be eaten from the pan, at football matches, or discreetly administer at other times as necessary.
2 cups plain flour one and a half cups caster sugar 1 cup butter 1 cup water half cup buttermilk 2 eggs 4 tb cocoa 1 tsp bicarbonate of soda 3 tsp vanilla
Heat oven to 180C. In a saucepan melt butter with sugar, cocoa and water; add buttermilk, take off heat. Beat in eggs and other ingredients. Pour into a greased tray or one lined with baking paper. bake for 20 minutes. Take from oven. Cool in pan. Ice while still warmish.
Icing: two and a quarter cups icing sugar half cup butter 4 tb cocoa 3 tbsp buttermilk 1 tsp vanilla half cup chopped walnuts OR sultanas soaked for a few hours in rum OR both/ Melt butter with cocoa and buttermilk. Turn off heat. Add icing sugar, vanilla and nuts or raisins
Two Minute Tomato Soup Put in a saucepan: 4 chopped ripe tomatoes half a litre tomato juice 1 tb Worcestershire sauce 1 tb balsamic vinegar half tsp Tabasco (or more on really cold days) juice of 1 lime or half lemon
Heat. Pour into 4 bowls or 1 large thermos. Eat!
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